When I wake up tomorrow..

I wish for life to be different when I wake up tomorrow.
I wish I have the same enthusiasm at work that I did on my first day.
I wish to be leaner and stronger, like I was 3yrs ago.
I wish to regain my (slapstick) sense of humor.
I wish to be able to inspire someone.
I wish all my closest friends be around me, and not on the internet.
I wish to be in a different city.. New York, San Francisco, Seattle, Chicago.. anywhere.
I wish a good conversation with a real person is not an impossibility.
I wish to go out and rule the cricket ground again.
I wish for myself to not think so deeply all the time... I wanna be stupid too.

I don't know why I can't act on any of these. Who knows... maybe tomorrow when I wake up, I will know how to.

Rain...

I've been wondering for quite some time now... why, in this country, are people so scared of the rain? Why do they let weather forecasts plan their weekends?

I was thinking about the times we played soccer in really heavy downpour..rode back home from college on the bike, or even just stepped out on the terrace only to get wet. It was never something that bothered me, or slowed me down. I enjoyed it. And it had been so long since I had been drenched. That was until this weekend. It was pouring cats, dogs and lizards by the time the India Fest got over, and I had parked my car seemingly in Mexico.

I joined the dozens of people waiting in the shelters for the rain to stop. One look upwards confirmed it wasn't close to stopping. So I just walked. It was amazing, even though there was no garam chai at the end of it, not even the smell of the soil. Still, it was amazing.

I think people here should sometimes just let go... they're missing out on so much.

So many times...

"One last thing lads"

For the thousands of Indians who, like me, grew up watching cricket, these are difficult times. One after the other, our heroes are walking away into the sunset. There is this sadness about the whole situation. No doubt, there is the bright light of hope as well, but for now its just too hard to adjust.

These were the guys for whom we stayed up late, missed homeworks, faked bad health to miss tuitions, hurried our dinner. Indian cricket was the thing that mattered the most to us. We were happy when we won, sad when we lost. I remember the gutted feeling of the times when we'd "snatch defeat from the jaws of victory", but also the elation of pulling off an impossible victory. But it wasn't always this way..

Sourav Ganguly will be remembered for a lot of things, but for me, he'll remain the best captain we've had. After the big letdown of the Azhar era, he picked up the pieces of what used to be Indian cricket and forged a team that captured our imagination. He taught us how to fight. He gave us Yuvraj, Bhajji, Zaheer, Irfan and Sehwag.. the core of the current team. I wonder if these guys would have made it this far without the support of Ganguly. He backed each one of them through their lean times, giving them confidence every step of the way. Since Ganguly, we've had captains in Dravid, Kumble and Dhoni. Dravid and Kumble were just too graceful to be good captains, while Dhoni is still a work in process.

Almost throughout his career, Sourav batted under the shadows of Sachin, but the satisfaction that came from watching his cover drives is not matched even by the best chocolate fudge in town. The sixers off the left arm spinners were predictable, yet every bit amazing. His hundreds in Australia and England are unforgettable. The series against Pakistan in Toronto should have been officially renamed the "Sourav Ganguly series". The highlight of this career, though, has to be the shirt flinging at the holiest of the holy grounds, Lords.

The grace, elegance and skill for which he has been known were all on display in his last series against the Aussies. From the time when he announced his retirement to his hundred and the fifities... to the last speech. He has been fantastic.

Its painful to watch one day cricket these days. Gambir, Raina, Rohit and Dhoni are all brilliant... but they just dont mean as much to us, not yet anyway. We know its time for the legends to leave, but its just not the same without them. Thanks for the memories Dada...and at the risk of sounding too school boy-ish... I'll miss you!

What was she thinking?

I was so tired of the routine. I decided I was simply going to enjoy this weekend. I dragged Harsha, Anant and Dimitrios to Washington DC. I had a whale of a time. We did all things that tourists do, and then our perverse jokes too.

There was, however, this one moment which made me pause. It was at the Vietnam memorial. As I was walking along the wall inscribed with the names of all those who had laid down their lives in the war, I noticed this woman kneeling in front of the wall. I paused to look at what she was doing. She put a white paper over a name and started pencil shading. I started wondering... was it her son? was it her husband? her brother?

Once she was done, she folded away the paper and kept it in her bag. Then she touched the name end to end, several times. More thoughts rushed to my head... is she crying? is she proud of him? I'm sure she's proud.. but does she think his life was wasted? how is she living without him?

I could only imagine this to be a part of some war movie. But when it happened right before me, it had me frozen for a second. I tried to catch her eyes as she walked away, but couldn't. This was supposed to be a fun weekend. I had to shake this off. So we went to the Einstein statue and clicked funny pictures. But once I started walking.. I was thinking again... What was she thinking? Surely she thought it was a waste... what came out of this?

It made so much sense when I was this...