I miss a friend(?), who almost seems a very old friend now. I miss how I spoke about almost anything with her, how I could be stupid when I wanted, without worrying if I was wasting what could be "quality time. "
A lot of things would seem fake in retrospect, but a lot things really were not.. fake. As I thought about some really testing times, which again I'm sure would seem affected, I couldn't believe how much I really had blown away. It really doesn't seem to make sense suddenly, and so I force myself into thinking about the bad parts of it just to convince myself that it was ok to blow it away. But really, it wasn't. It costed me way more than just one very good friend. I wont even go into the loser's world of "If I had another chance, I'd do things differently... "

Talking about "old friends", now I've had some truly great friendships back home in Hyderabad. But I've realised.. they're just not like me. I am close to only a few people, but I really hold tight to them, they're for the keeps, they're not just people who where at the same place and time as me. Also I believe friends are people who know the current you, not someone whom you made your "best friend" in 6th grade and never talked to him after 8th grade. My friends in hyd.. i dont know.. they seem so busy all the time, too busy for a 5 min call in a year, I can count the number of phone calls I've received (apart ofcourse from family) ever since I came here, and no its not coz I've been talking to them online either. At times I just wished one of them would think of me and call, without any "work".. you know.. just call, like I do out of the blue, cos maybe I miss them? Its not like I'm perenially terribly disappointed in them, or I'm mad at them, I'm not even blaming them... its never been that important there, I'm sure they'd ensure I had a whale of a time if I went there now, but then again.. there'd be nothing until probably I went back. I'm sure they still consider me one of their own, I haven't changed all that much since I've gotten here, but I shouldn't hope for effort... I should just be content knowing they still like me, and knowing that I'd have never-ending tales to tell them when I get back home.

Thank you orkut... because of you, they cant escape lookin at my face for too long :)
C'mon guys... I can't get there anytime soon, but I sure miss u guys like hell.. and you too, my lost friend. I hope you're doin well...

Forgive my growing alliance with country music.. but there's this song by Rodney Atkins called "These are my people"..

A wonderful weekend..

It was something I had been looking forward to ever since I got to Nashville, making the trip back to Atlanta, which is so much more like home now.

Not my favourite means of transport, but also my only option, I rode the Greyhound again, breakin a promise of not doing it ever again :) But this time around, I was in for a cute lil surprise. It wasn't hard at all to decide which seat I wanted on the bus. With a few window seats left, some of which were next to ppl who occupied more than one and a half seat, some next to ppl who it seemed hadn't showered since the last time it rained... no, all this was bullshit.. the prying eyes of a 22yr old guy obviously had to fall on the seat next to a cute European-looking girl.

It took me 5 mins to realize she didnt speak English all that much. What followed were my best 2hrs in a long long time... It was so refreshing talking to a non-American girl, someone who knew the world beyond America.. we just had loads of harmless (though loud, at times) fun, something you'd never expect in a Greyhound bus. The girl was Lina.. an sales intern studying "politician" in Lithuania (I admit I had to ask her to show me where it was on the map). She did a heck of a job for someone who's been learning English for just under an year.


With high spirits, and no signs of the K-factor (lingo exclusive to tech isye junta), was all upbeat abt gettin homw to Atlanta.. met randeep, professor, chimpy, drama n bhavik.. loads of beer.. makkadman.. world politics... mega-screwing of Randeep and it was 3:30 in no time.

Saturday... after an unsuccessful house hunt, the usual chaddi chor bashing with anant n sheikh.. it was so awesome to see Arya... my partner in loneliness, also a villager (though I maintain Nashville is not a village). Had an unsuccesful bird-spotting at Cumberland while sheikh was emptying his pockets..

Then... we witnessed god himself. A R Rahman was unbelievable.. u'd think post-recording editing made songs sound that much better.. but when its happenin live before you... its just somethin else. Choicelessly, the non-tamilians amongst us also danced to the beats of the Sivaji songs.. though my high points from the concert had to be Secret of Sucess (Boys), Maa tujhe salaam, the Sivamani solo (un-freakin-believable), chaiyya chaiyya, Paathshaala... oh damn i'm gonna keep goin.. I think Saurabh was an idiot for missin it.. anant too... and anu... tu na... :)

So later, wantin to make most of our time together.. me, arya n drama decided to skip sleep... rum helped us see the "other side" of drama, added with tonnes of egotistical attitude :) Leaving a dwunk drama to coochy-coo, me n arya walked thru campus, at like 5 in the mornin (last done before eco finals)...

The return journey in the Greyhound was nowhere close to my east-european experience, but well, it got me here writing this absolutely pointless post... a "contemporary" post that I haven't done in ages.

It sucked not meetin nunu in Nashville... but koi nahi.. next time.. but I really had an awesome awesome time meetin the others.. ok I'm hungry, and sleepy. bye,hic.

When you painted your face..

So thinly painted, This mask you wear , It's coming off ...One inch at a time, It's peeling away, It's filling with holes, And you can't seem to understand why.............You close your eyes to cry, But tears can't bring you back to the way things were, Before you painted your face so thick with lies, And you seem so empty now....................With the hate you bore, with the love you needed to hide, you pacified those thoughts, Bottled them up tight, When you painted your face so thick with mud, and you seem so dirty now...........Your heart broke in to a million and one, The wrath and confusion, IT seems to have won, You never let it go, And you painted your face so your feeling couldn't show, And you seem so fragile now.....................So thinly painted.. This mask you wear it's coming off.. One inch at a time its peeling away, its filling with holes And you can't seem to understand Why .......!!!!